PLAN A CAPYBARA'S BIRTHDAY. WE'LL DIAGNOSE YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE.

The playable version needs JavaScript. Here is the whole quiz as plain text — 7 questions and 4 possible verdicts.

1. Question 1. Pick a cake.

   • with a handwritten note on top.
   • homemade. you got up at 6.
   • bought together at the bakery.
   • a specific cake. you remembered exactly.

2. Question 2. Pick a guest count.

   • small. everyone gets a personal toast.
   • the right people. you set up everything.
   • just the inner circle. all night.
   • a list. checked twice. with specific dietary needs noted.

3. Question 3. Pick the music.

   • a playlist you made with their name on it.
   • you DJ. you set the levels. you remember requests.
   • a live duo. so you can sit and listen together.
   • a specific song. on at a specific moment.

4. Question 4. Pick the decorations.

   • handwritten signs everywhere.
   • you set up alone. they walk in. it's perfect.
   • nothing. just everyone in the same room.
   • their favorite flowers. specific. seasonal.

5. Question 5. Pick a party game.

   • a roast. but everyone says one nice thing too.
   • a scavenger hunt you spent two days hiding.
   • a long lazy walk together.
   • opening one perfect present at a time.

6. Question 6. Pick the gift you'd bring.

   • a long, specific card. read aloud later.
   • something you made. takes you a week.
   • nothing wrapped. just one whole evening of attention.
   • that one thing they mentioned six months ago.

7. Question 7. Pick the moment you'd most want at this party.

   • the one waiting for you to say the toast.
   • the one quietly noticing every detail you did.
   • the one who just wants you to sit next to them.
   • the one already opening it before you finish.

The verdicts

• Words of Affirmation — You need to hear it. You give it freely. You remember the exact compliment someone gave you in 2017 and you bring it up in your own head sometimes. You write long cards. You say the toast. You don't trust silence. People love this about you. You also need them to *say* they love this about you.
• Acts of Service — You don't say it. You do it. You get up early. You handle the thing. You notice the small things — the burnt-out bulb, the empty glass, the bad week — and you fix them before anyone asks. You'd rather labor than speak. People say "you didn't have to" and you didn't, and that's the whole point.
• Quality Time — You want presence. Not a gift, not a speech — you want them in the room, on the couch, with no phone. Quality Time people are extremely hard to scam because the only thing you actually want is the one thing money can't fake. People feel loved by you because you give them undivided attention, which is, by the way, very rare.
• Gifts — You give specifically. You remember what someone mentioned six months ago. You don't do generic — you do "the one thing." When you receive a gift you immediately know how much someone was paying attention to you, and it's filed in your brain forever. Gift-language people have a reputation for being shallow. They are, in fact, devastatingly observant.