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PLAN A CAPYBARA'S BIRTHDAY. WE'LL DIAGNOSE YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE.

Seven small decisions about a capybara's birthday. One uncomfortably accurate guess about how you actually love people.

You're planning a birthday party. For a capybara. The choices you make will tell us how you actually love people in real life. We're sorry. Also, we're correct. (Physical Touch people — the capybara is a hot spring. you already know.)

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Why Capybaras Love the Edge of Everything

A capybara at the shoreline is not posing for the algorithm. It is keeping options open: grass on one side, water on the other, and an exit plan that would make a project manager weep.

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