CAPYBARA, DUCK, ORANGE, OR HERON. PICK A LANE.

The playable version needs JavaScript. Here is the whole quiz as plain text — 7 questions and 4 possible verdicts.

1. Question 1. Pick what you bring to a room.

   • the calm. always the calm.
   • the energy. always the energy.
   • the aesthetic. that's the contribution.
   • a quiet weight. people lower their voices.

2. Question 2. Pick your seat.

   • middle of the room. comfortable. unmoving.
   • wherever it's loudest.
   • visible from the door. with intention.
   • the back. watching everyone.

3. Question 3. Pick how you arrive.

   • on time. no fuss. greeting nobody.
   • thirty minutes late. warm. very loud.
   • looking unreasonably good. for a tuesday.
   • silently. nobody knows when you got there.

4. Question 4. Pick your worst-case scenario.

   • having to leave the water.
   • silence. for too long.
   • a smudge. a mess. a public crumb.
   • being asked to explain yourself.

5. Question 5. Pick a Sunday.

   • a long bath. nothing planned.
   • an unplanned party. unprovoked.
   • a long mirror. and at least one outfit change.
   • a long walk no one knows about.

6. Question 6. Pick how your week actually went.

   • warm. slow. nothing broke.
   • loud. fast. something broke.
   • stylish. cool. extremely curated.
   • quiet. distant. you weren't really there.

7. Question 7. Don't think about it. Pick the one that's you.

   • the capybara. unbothered. anchoring.
   • the duck. chaotic. committed.
   • the orange. somehow the main event.
   • the heron. elegant. unreachable.

The verdicts

• You're a Capybara Person — You are the calm in the room. Other people climb onto you metaphorically and you allow it. You don't have to explain. You don't need to be cool. You arrive, the temperature regulates, and people exhale around you. The world is loud and you simply do not amplify it. Capybara people are who other people *call.*
• You're a Duck Person — You are pure forward motion in feathers. You don't have a plan, you have a vibe, and the vibe is yes. You are loud, you are warm, you are very slightly menacing in the right context. People are happy you're here and slightly relieved when you go. You'll be back, very soon, with more news.
• You're an Orange Person — You are the thing on the capybara's head. You are decorative. You are not doing much, technically. You are also the entire point. The room is structured around how you look in it. People underestimate you and then make small attempts to be like you when nobody's watching. The capybara is fine. But the photo is of *you.*
• You're a Heron Person — You are tall. You are elegant. You stand in shallow water and consider things. People aren't sure what to do with you because you don't actually need anything from them. You leave parties early and they immediately become less interesting. Heron people have a dignity that's hard to fake and impossible to manufacture, and the rest of us are trying.